The Truth About Foster Care.
Capturing our real nitty gritty foster journey feels so daunting. I’ve tried on several occasions. It’s like I know what happened, but its so real to me. I know when I type it out in black and white it will just be hanging there, exposed, out in the open, and it will not even come close to explaining what it felt like. The both/and of foster care is extremely hard to represent with words only. The community around us during all of this will recall what it was like. Many have come alongside us in the most tangible expression of being with us. I’m so thankful for those people.
One time, toward the end of a long placement that was especially hard for me personally, I found myself in a near breakdown outside of church. Blaring music on one side of the brick, my completely wrecked heart and mind on the other. Despite the fact that I was weeping in my husbands arms, two young women passed and noticed that my husband looked exasperated and overwhelmed just as much as I was. They boldly stepped in and grabbed me. Transferred my shaking body to theirs and confidently told my husband that it was their turn. One woman in particular proceeded to pray scripture over me. She declared that just as Moses needed Aaron and Hur to lift his arms, so did I, in order to cross the finish line. They came and helped me complete the race. I was weary and totally wrecked. They began driving shifts, cooking meals, investing in our son and in our family. They provided practically and financially. This completely changed the environment in our home and was enough to get us through.
We made it. We endured and faithfully served until the ordained end of that placement. That is my story. It’s not shiny and perfect. Its messy, full of sin and wrong steps. What we were called to, the specifics and how they played out should in no way make you feel guilty if you are reading this and chose a different way. Just as we made one choice at at a time- some I’m proud of, others that I wish I could re-do, our journeys will diverge in the details. The truth of foster care is an invitation to allow the messy fallen nature of humanity to come close. Our experience has been beautiful and redemptive but you don’t get that sweetness without also tasting the bitterness first hand. My heart in sharing parts of our story is to pull the veil back on the matter. Instagram can make for a romantic take on foster care, while movies paint it as a story that plays out within an hour and a half and has a beautiful resolution. This is not the case. There are some high highs and low lows. You’ll become acquainted with all of your personal idols, your shortcomings will be on display, and if you care for older kids as we have, they can see you for what you are. Its all so intense.
So my prayer is that as you read along, allow yourself to be encouraged. Not just in the manner of becoming a foster parent, but be encouraged that there is a way through. Whatever the circumstance may be for you, those that are sticky, painful, so cloudy you cannot see where you are headed, all you can do is take one step today. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
